sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
