Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
