going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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