Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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