why didn't you poke me back
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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