walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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