That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
