You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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