That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
