Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize