the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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