Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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