Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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