I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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