Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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