STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
