Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
