Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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