I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
