I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
