he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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