We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
