i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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