i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
