Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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