If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize