They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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