oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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