Got a toothbrush?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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