I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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