oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
