Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
handjob tips. give me some.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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