oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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