That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish I could teleport
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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