Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize