So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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