i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
