Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
