her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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