went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize