Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
"it" just moved
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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