Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
