when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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