1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize