Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
