What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize