She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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