Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Never underestimate the power of titties
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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