I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just forgot I was standing up.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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