I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize