maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize