plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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