she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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