PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
