just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
