Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize