You just made me feel so damn special
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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