The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
