careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
